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I was watching Mickey Mouse's Playhouse with my grandson. He turned one four days ago. The chirpy music always holds his attention, as does the wonderful array of primary colors and those ever so enticing cartoon voices. I have to admit that my granddaughter who is now 10 didn't get to enjoy cartoons or Mickey Mouse. I was very selective about what she watched. Given the 'messaging' that goes with this stuff in the last decades, who can blame me. I really was careful about how she developed that 'picture' of herself through the things she watched, heard, and played with. So, you know I absolutely did not contribute to it by taking her to that hamburger place where they announce over the counter or intercom, "boy toy or girl toy". Oh no I didn't! My grand son almost got by me.
Today during that illuminating 30 minute cartoon, the Mickey and his friends were going to have a 'Do my favorite thing Day'. And as it unraveled before us, I realized with a little shock that the only thing that had changed was me. I almost didn't catch what I was doing. Corporate Disney was still at that gender message they so love, it was I who forgot to filter it for my grandson.
This is my form of apology.
The Mickey friends announced thier favorite thing. Goofy was going on a picnic, Minnie was going to cook, that girl duck was going to arrange some flowers, and the Donald was going fishing. Its subtle. Always is. They managed to make the picnic sprout from the 'going to enjoy' point of view, not the get it ready point of view. And of course Minnie went on about what she would cook, but not what she would enjoy, what others might like. You get the drift. Let's get them prepared early for the role they will assume in their lives. Not me. I want him to identify what his heart tells him, and what his joy comes from. I do not want him to adapt to the standard male 'role', just as seriously as I did not want my grand daughter thinking she must have a 'love' interest to be whole, or the other many standard female roles. I wanted her to see, experiment, and decide who and what and why she breathes.
I wasn't able to thwart any of the bs she ran up against at school. The pressure there, and the standards are terrifying. I am now trying to interject some survival skills so her originality isn't totally destroyed. As a sidenote I do not blame her teachers, the constraints on them have tripled. I do blame those who administer educational standards, its what they are paid for and they have failed. Anyway, that said. I am confident I will have to double down on his behalf, my grandson's that is. As he faces even toughter pressures.
I have and will continue to comfort and support them as they succumb to these corporate and far to cultural constraints on them. The limits put out there by the marketplace. But, for now, I can turn off the TV, bring some freeing time and play that builds on that orginality he already is showing, as well as keep those pesky lined color books away and see what he does with his blank space.. and hope it holds.
Most certainly, I will be watching to keep him and his choices about what men are suppose to die for clear and present... it most certainly isn't to fulfill some politicians wet dream about power... through war and control.
The men in my life are much more valuable then that. They think and think critically for themselves. And I have reengaged with how I think about both of them, and their gender roles. Whew... that was close.
have a nice day.
